Becoming a Child

12 Jan Becoming a Child

There is a verse I have read my whole life, however I have never experienced the depth of what it actually meant. Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

My first few weeks in Zambia have been a revelation as it has exposed my desire NOT to be a child. I have landed in a country and culture that I do not know. I don’t speak the language, I can’t drive (they drive on the other side of the road), I don’t know how to exchange money, convert my cell phone, get internet, or buy groceries. I don’t know how to get anywhere if I could drive. If something doesn’t work in my flat, I have to call someone and ask how to fix it, or who to call to fix it. If I want something I don’t know how to get it. I don’t even have a church to call my home for the first time in my life. Perhaps most significantly, I have no friends. I feel like, a CHILD. I am totally and completely dependent on other people for almost every area of my life. And Jesus is right, (as He always is), it is humbling, and I become acutely aware of why I don’t want to be childlike and “humble myself.”

And yet here I am, a child. Totally and completely dependent on others and asking them how to do almost everything. Honestly, I don’t like it. But in it, I am faced with some spiritual realities.  

Everything about my flesh wants to have comfort, stability, routine, and independence. I don’t want to need other people. I don’t want to rely on others. I want to be in control. 

There is something about the familiar that gives us the allusion that we are in control and independent. Our unmet needs seem to lessen, and we can become fully sufficient. And the sufficiency is found in my ability to navigate life without any help from others, perhaps even God. Most of our daily routine we can do on cruise control.  And yet words like helpless, need, desperation, dependence are what drives us to the feet of Jesus begging him to help us, strengthen us, teach us, be with us. Rather than intentionally fighting to remain a dependent child, we seem to fight to keep our comfort zone comfortable. 

Spiritually I feel the same. I am responsible for starting a ministry I do not know how to do. I am in my 50’s, and I am responsible for student ministry on University and College campuses with Zambian students. Once again, a child, dependent, desperate, needy, asking the Father to help me do what I do not know how to do. Nevertheless, in this uncomfortable place, my devotional life is active. Prayer and Bible Study are consistently a part of my day. The question is, when I start to figure things out, get in a routine, learn how to drive, buy groceries, learn directions, meet some friends, will I consciously choose to be a humble child? Will my prayer life remain as dependent and desperate for Jesus? Will I stay connected to the vine with the same urgency? 

It seems most of our life is on autopilot until we are shattered by some external circumstance that awakens us from our spiritual coma. Then, we cry out to a God that we do not know, have not been walking with, have not been relying on, dependent on, desperate for, and we want Him to magically fix everything that just upset or shattered our comfort zone.

Perhaps that is why we see Jesus use words like Go, Leave, Move, and Follow so often. If we are not intentionally experiencing new places, new truths, new challenges, new realties, new cultures, new opportunities, new risks than we are not forced to become like a child. Which allows us to be dependent, weak, less sure of yourself, desperate, and in need of help. And all of this should cause us to press into our Father. Oh yeah, perhaps the best part of embracing our spiritual childlikeness is that it reminds us that we have a Father who loves us and will never leave us. He is in control. He knows. He is strong. He is my comfort. The more I embrace being a child, the more He is able to shine as my Father. Ultimately, that is the point: to bring glory to the Father!